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please coment on what i need to improve on
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intro
a long time ago in a spa far far away... it was a hot afternoon king shun-shun was bathing in money as usual and his loyal adviser bob was getting a tan
"hey king shun-shun last knight i snuck into an enemy base just like you told me"
"good what did they say?" king shun shun got up and headed to the food bar.
"well they said 'king fraleber took his army to ogle and used his forses to take over he world' ,"
"did they kill my player?"
"yes sir, they said 'the rpg is finished',"
king shun-shun cursed "this means war, and they didn't even listen to the rules!"
a thousand and 25 and a quarter years later nobody could remember why the war rpg started but millions of kingdoms fought for the same reason: to take over the food industry. but in an unrelated topic the war has been raging for a thousand and 25 and a quarter years and the reason was of course king fraleber and his no rule policy...
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"report sir 'your charector fell off a cliff...' that is all"
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not that funny yet but it probably would get better and i get a lot of writers block for names so if you would give me some.
