The Monkey Paw Game

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted, but the pizza is only one slice.

I wish for my family's perpetual murphy's law cloud to disappear.

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but then you get crushed with contracts for no reason.

I wish I had a pet velociraptor that wouldn't eat me.

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted, but it kills your family *squick*.

I wish for it to be thanksgiving already!

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but you have to share with so many, you starve that day.

I wish I had a oet turkey with laser beams for eyes and rockets for wings.

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted, but the turkey aplodes when it shoots too many lasers.

I wish for a shark tank that contains shark with frickin' laser beams on their heads!

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but they explode due to over-heating their weapons.

I wish I was a megalodon shark in this time period, eating boats and fishing crews.

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted, but you get into a fight with the kraken and die.

I wish for a giant battle mech that fights off other giant battle mechs and has no self destruct button and can't expldoe due to explosive resistent materials.

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but it's only abilities are jumping, walking, running and fist fighting, due to no weapons other than fists.

I wish for a wish to make a wish for another wish and use that wish for a new wish for me to be a megalodon shark again without any krakens nearby.

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted, but all the sharks from jaws gang up on you and kill you for stealing their role.

I wish for a chainsaw.

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but some killer steals it and murders you for no reason.

I wish I had a Javelin to blow some stuff up, along with more of the best pizza in the world.

[Godzilla Forever]

Granted. The javelin is so volatile it blows up in thy grasp.

I wish for a katana so strong it can slice through diamond.

[Ins3kt]

Granted, but you hold it the wrong way and slice your hand to bits.

I wish for this topic to fail.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then I post something and you are the one who fails (I love this game)

I wish that Shogun2: total War came out sooner

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but you accidentally snap the disc due to how fragile it is and buy Empire: Total War instead.

I wish I lived on a larger hill with military style defences that'll make anything run at the first sight of it.

[raptor titanus3]

Granted, but then the U.S. goverment assaults said hill stronghold for fear it's a staging ground for a secret comie invasion

I wish that I got Napoleon: Total War instead because I already have Empire

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but it's so epic your Empire's disc snaps in two for some reason.

I wish I was now in the coldest place on earth where no person lives so I can plot my world domination plan there.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then you freeze to death due to the spy sapping your heater

I wish for snow to start falling from the sky outside my house on monday

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but SOMEONE (Me) uses a flamethrower and overheats the place, making you burn to death.

I wish I was a ghost haunting Luigi's mansion for whacky and fun reasons.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then my secret frost giant heritage makes me immune to fire and your the first ghost luigi vacums up

I wish for a fenton thremace to stuff you in (danny phantom pun for the win)

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but I turned back to my human state before you could than hit you with a bronze pipe.

I wish I had and actual bronze pipe to interrogate somebody with. (CoD: BO reference-ish, and those things are strong...)