by Doc 42 » Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:03 am
Back in the Marican war Coloney, the sectors resource manager was leaning back in his chair, feet up on his table, giant old fashioned fan blowing cool air into his face. Random country music playing on the radio behind him. The stations computer piped up "Commander! Hate to bother you, but we are in a bit of a pickle! Remember those intruders I told you about? The imperials, well I have just recieved word from our Ambusher Lbx-20. According to Lbx... our information was infact wrong and needs to be updated! Lbx-20 acted on the assumption that a dissabled ship would be left to die, which was not the case! Infact, quite a large ship turned up and ran him out of the sector! would you believe it, eh? Anywho, Lbx has updated the files, correcting that little mistake and advising caution, but also has provided a wealth of technical data about Imperial ships and their specifications. Even more data was accuired about enemy controlled planets, which there are quite a few of I might add, and where they are located. I'll say more on that in a minute" The resource manager mumbled "Oh whoopie... I'll look foreward to it... So what happened with this Ambusher? Have the rescue teams cleared out?"
The computer exclaimed joyessly "Oh noooo Commander, definately not. Thats the second thing I wanted to talk to you about! By the looks of it, they want to stick around, and not just for the views! If I wasn't very much mistaken I would say they are preparing to go further into our restricted zone of movement, which won't bode very well I can tell you, as the Imperials are marked as hostile at the moment..."
The resource commander took a drink out of his water and smoothed his hair back, saying boredly "Great... I suppose you also want to tell me that the minds have once again eaten up all of our Drone resources so we I will have to organise an actual defensive strike?" The computer answered happily "Wrong my freind! The Minds have been rather quietl recently and most of the Drones are just sitting there waiting to do some defending! Infact There is a hive containing 4 cruisers maybe half a parasec from here and two battleships are returning from an intercept mission in the bi-andono quadrant! They all look ready for action and even we could even pull in a few Longbows or Harbringers from the garrison on Algara"
The resource manager, examined his nails and said "Good... Good... Send out a commadant aswell, just to make sure the Harbringers dont jump the gun and start obliterateing things left and right before its all done"
The Computer said cheerfully "Of Course! Well thats all Commander! See you later!" and the audio system cut off.
The resource manager grumbled irriately and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and scribbled "Tasks for Engineers:
Get the god damn comfort control system reactivated! Its like a sauna in here!
Oh, and for whoever it was that set the computer to 'Annoying Jackass' mode will you PLEASE set it back to the default attitude? I don't even care who it was. I just want you to know that it is not funny anymore. I swear to god, if I hear that ba***** chatting away like a retarded gnome one more time I'll set the Sentinals on caution mode.
Footnote: Oh and guys? don't think I didn't unearth that little plot to feed in Yaka-yaka jackie songs into the PA system... if It happens again i'll retract all personal use of the system."

"
**** off TT"-Doc 42
Trophy art by CompyScavangerSlow Posters Club